A Short Conversation With My Coffee

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Hazelnut and Amaretto Cafe Mocha (HACM): "Good morning, Nicole. How was your evening? Did you do anything fun?"

Me: "Well, HACM, I had a pleasant evening, indeed. I got a call from Keith at 4:30 telling me that someone from our awesome neighborhood, St. Anne's Hill, had offered up free Jim Gaffigan tickets for the show last night. All we had to do was go pick them up. So instead of getting any exercise, like we'd planned, we went to the show. Jim Gaffigan is hilarious."

HACM: "That sounds delightful. Jim Gaffigan is quite the funnyman. I love that bit about Hot Pockets. Did you, perchance, wear your "Caliente Pockets" shirt? Because that would have been apropos."

Me: "Yes, HACM, I did wear my Caliente Pockets shirt. I thought it was befitting of the evening. He did throw in his Hot Pockets bit, which is awesome as always. Since it's the second time we've seen him, we were hoping for new material. He delivered. My stomach actually hurt at the end of the evening from laughing."

HACM: "Smashing. I am pleased that you had a cracking good time, chap. Cheerio, etc."

Me: "HACM, why in the hell are you talking in a British dialect? Do you think you're fancy?"

HACM, after removing his monocle: "Why, yes, milady. I am fancy. I have many syllables in my name, or did you not notice? As known throughout the land, the more syllables that a name has, the fancier it gets. So I happen to be extra-fancy, Governor."

Me: "And delicious, you daft blighter."

Nicole takes a looooong drink, draining her cup, and suddenly-- HACM isn't talking much anymore.

Lesson: Pay attention to your St. Anne's e-mail! Your neighbor might just have something wonderful to offer up.